To build time machine:

Find a large corrugated cardboard box, for example one that a refrigerator or mail-order bride may be shipped in. You should be able to stand upright in it comfortably, or at the very least maintain a stooped posture with minimal difficulty.

Cut off the flaps on one end of the box, for easy ingress and egress.

Cut 35 12 gauge copper wire segments of equal length, 1/2 the height of the box previously obtained. If copper wire isn't readily available, gold wire may be substituted, however use 16 gauge gold wire. Attach the wires at equidistant intervals spanning the entire outside surface of the box, being sure to prevent the ends of the wires from protruding too far into the box by stabbing them 1/4" into the box MAXIMUM. Be sure to bend the protruding ends in the box before entering, as they will most assuredly cut you up something fierce if you don't. You may also consider capping each wire end with the erasers from a crapload of #2 pencils (any brand).

Modify a Whirlpool EL03CCXMB 2.7 cu ft. mini fridge so that it's Flexi-Storô door can be securely locked in a closed position by means of a standard tubular pin tumbler lock (aka a Brahman lock). Supercharge the coolant tank with as much freon (or equivalent) coolant you can find, so that the unit's cooling capacity is approximately 92% of the manufacturer's recommended maximum PSI.

Be sure to stock the fridge with ample supplies, as you never know what types of comestibles will be available to eat in the future. For example, your favorite brand of sardines might no longer be sold. Finding yourself in the future without adequate sustenance would be quite embarrassing for the discriminating time traveller, as well. Keep in mind that, should food be scarce in the future, you can also barter your goods in exchange for hard currency and establish yourself back into society.

Place the mini fridge at the bottom of the box for easy access. You may want to place pillows and a blanket or two inside, both for padding against the fridge during time travel, and also for additional warmth, if required.

Don't forget any critical medications you need, or medications you think you may need in the future!

Bring along a kitchen knife in a sheath, and hide it beneath the mini fridge. You can't be certain if self-defense will be required at all times in the future. If not, it will be handy for food preparation and other vital cutting tasks.

Acquire a gyrocompass with an 18" rotor, and at least a 28" spin axis, and place it in a viscous fluid bath to resist reorientation of the axis. You may use a Rubbermaid or equivalent quality brand plastic tub (with a lid) to hold the fluid and gyrocompass. The friction force caused by the fluid will result in a torque acting on the axis, causing the axis to turn in a direction orthogonal to the torque (that is, to precess) toward true North (to the North star). Once the axis points toward the North star, it will appear to be stationary and won't experience any more friction forces. This is because true North is the only direction for which the gyroscope can remain on the surface of the earth and not be required to change. This is considered to be a point of minimum potential energy.[1]

Place the gyrocompass device on top of the Whirlpool mini fridge inside of your box, and secure it to the fridge using any kind of bonding agent or even a short length of rope. Whatever will make certain the gyrocompass won't shift will do the job.

Activate the gyrocompass with the infrared controller it should have come with. If you do not have the infrared controller, or have misplaced it, contact the manufacturer and delay your time travelling adventure until a satisfactory replacement has been found. Be mindful of any devices which could interfere with the infrared signal, such as Aibo robot dogs or PDA's, and place them in another room.

Remember, you're going to be in the future, so take a few minutes to ponder and gather any items you think could become priceless. Imagine if you'd been alive centuries ago and could bring something pristine to the future, you'd be rich (and famous!).Be sure your mini fridge is still securely locked to protect your foodstuffs, double check your wiring, and make sure the kitchen knife didn't shift during the gyrocompass installation.

You are now prepared for time travel.

Enter the box, using a stepstool or other convenient tall surface, being careful not to disturb the gyrocompass. This is where your attention to the wiring pays off, with hopefully no scratches. Don't worry, they can probably dress wounds a lot better in the future. Remember that the gyrocompass is very delicate, and the viscous fluid can make quite a mess if it gets out of the plastic tub. Use caution as your guide.

Wrap yourself in a blanket, if you feel cold.

Now, wait for the future.

Exit the box and explore your amazing surroundings, and congratulations on your trip through time!



Disclaimer:Travelling backwards through time not recommended, as a catastrophic paradox is likely to result. Consult your local physicist. Do not leave time travel device unattended, as it may pose a threat to small children or beloved pets. Disassemble time travel device between time travelling sessions, and store in a cool place.

Not responsible for accidental deaths of descendants, or any injury incurred due to use of the time machine.